Friday, July 24, 2015

Stupid Questions with Stupid Answers

Is a hot dog a sandwich?
No, because if I say, "Get me a sandwich woman!" She ain't ever comin' back with a hot dog.

What is it about death that you fear, exactly?
The skeleton face & the scythe, oh and the power to kill me.

Who says it can't be done? You know it can be done, don't you? If you want it enough, right?
You're right. Time to drown my neighbor's gerbils. I live next to a pet store.

Do you give more than you take? Or take more than you give?
I'm more of a stasis guy.

Who are your role models? How would they act in the situation you are in now?
They'd be like Wow! What is this fancy light book you have?

If you just go for it, what do you have to lose? Is the risk not smaller than doing nothing?
But I was going to take that self-amputation class first.

Are you waiting for permission? What permission do you think you need to move forward, and from whom?
Well those senators never answer my letters directly anyway. So.. It's time to invade Poland.

If you were to start a business, what would it be? What would it do? What would you need to have in place first?
If I started a business I'd be 100% owner so, none of your business.

If you have an important message to offer the world are you delivering it effectively?
No, I tweet it.

How much time have you spent in nature lately? Enough time to calm your mind and rejuvenate your soul?
Naw, there's bugs & dust out there.

If you could wave a magic wand and be anything, be anyone, who would you be?
I'd be a magic wand manufacturer so I could give wands to everyone but kids because they'd turn into cool monsters & accidentally eat their parents.

How do you best connect with others?
Through our Rigellian long protein strings.

What one piece of advice would you offer a newborn child?
Learn to speak English so you can eventually understand other people's advice.

Where would you rather be, than right here, right now?
A couple of minutes from now, but I'll wait.

Is there a supreme power?
Yeah supreme pizzas have a power over me.

What makes you, you?
Dictionaries?

Do you know that delayed gratification is one of the most powerful habits of successful individuals?
No, I was delaying learning about the most powerful habits of successful individuals. Thanks a lot spoiler!

Who did you make better today?
No one, I decided to quit cooking people after the first try. No taste is worth… that.

Is the country you live in really the best fit for you?
Is that a fat joke?

How old would you be if you did not know how old you are?
I'd be the same but stupid.

When it is all said and done, will you have said more than you have done?
That's the goal #LikeABoss



Where does the universe end?
In the universe?

Question 1 by Hannibal Burris, all others by @QuestionDeJour

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