Sunday, January 31, 2016

Jubilant January - Lesson Leftovers

The best part about your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend is that your second best friend will love you even more.

The great thing about life being a path to death is that the journey is more fun than the destination.

The great thing about being a virgin, is that if a homophobe nick names you "Mary" you can call yourself Virgin Mary, one of the most beloved figures in history.

The great thing about junk on the floor is that it slows down home invaders & makes snails leave 4.3-79.9% less slime on the rug.

The great thing about dirt is that you can't get it dirty.

Friday, January 22, 2016

15 years of Piemerica's Lesson of/for the Day

Today's the 15th anniversary of Piemerica's Lesson of/for the Day. In those 15 years there have been 2,272 lessons. Right now I've had 512 consecutive days with a new lesson. To Sadebrate here is the top lesson of each year!

2001:  Some people will never learn. The sad thing is most of those people go to school.
2002:  If you have a problem don't use an escalator.
2003:  When arguing at sea don't go overboard.
2004:  Up & Down are opposites & that's why they like each other.
2005:  Remember always safety first.. well actually always remember first.
2006:  Lighting in the sky is like God taking pictures of us.
2007:  Not all hillbillies are named Billy but they are all related to him.
2008:  Super is supper with one ‘p’ that is how good supper is you see.
2009:  In athletics often pros are cons.
2010:  There are stupid questions but stupid questions are better than stupid statements.
2011:  Fun Food Fact: The Hamburger was named after the French and Indian War.
2012: They say "diamonds are a girl's best friend." Unfortunately for most girls they are imaginary friends.
2013:  Every cloud has a silver lining except the ones drawn with the cheap box of crayons. Those just have gray linings that we pretend are silver.
2014:  You are rich if you hire a narrator to narrate all of your actions just in case your actions don't speak louder than your words.
2015:  You are weird if you fear death.. will never find a good woman to settle down with.

& here is what I consider the greatest lesson of all time.
If a thug draws a knife on you wash it off.