Friday, August 21, 2015

+=- Lakes in Boxes

What's shakin'?
Yo, what's icedtean'?
Yo, what's cherrylimeaidin?
Hey, what's bottledwaterin'?
What's liptonbriskicedtean'?

I know more about camels than jars of nails do but you don't see me bragging about it more than once.

MAR:  I'm from an alternate dimension
Stranger:  No you're not
MAR:  Not alternate to yours, alternate to someone else's

If I prefer my closets be painted white on the inside does that make me a closet racist?

I graduated when I was 17 because I was smart.. enough to be born at the right time of the year.

I live by the motto:  Don't make up a motto to live by because you'll box yourself in.

Wicker cups

I like to take siestas down short term memory lane.

M D: What do you define as rich?
MAR:  Yachty instead of Yahtzee.

….have a lot of extra dots. Do you want some?………

M D:  Let's talk about how I burned 600 calories at the gym
MAR:  You set fire to a double cheeseburger? My gym doesn't like me setting fires, that why I don't go.
M D:  Ohhh is that why?
MAR:  Well that & it's not there anymore, it burnt down somehow. We had a meat lovers pizza party to celebrate it.

I used to try to get people to catch my drift & they'd always miss. Now I ain't got no drifts left.

I eat twice a year, if a year is 2 days long.

M D:  I'm driving in the rain.
MAR:  I was always the caddy.

I'm some about using subtle word differences. If I were all about it that would be peculiar.
Internet is better for your teeth than candy.

If you could rate your mood on a scale of 1-7 leaving out 4-6 what would it be?
For me, I'd say a wire of unknown metal 3.-3548216

Does not compute or brainpute.

Stranger:  Where are you from?
MAR:  Here or there, depending on where I am at the moment

Did you ever meet the shale oil whisperer of saskawaukee?

Y'know... If I had a fridge for every color in the alphabet I don't know what I'd have.

Transmogrify any corn ice lately?

I don't think I know everything but I do think I know a decent bit about things I care to know. Knowing everything is boring. Knowing something is what's awesome.

I like the star that whispers about hamburger cooking safety in sentient cows ears.

If we used a scale from negative infinity to positive infinity we'd know 0 was in the middle. So, if you asked "How was your day?" & I was judging my day on the -/+ infinity scale & I, without telling you what scale I was using, said "I'd rate my day at a 0" it would sound like the worst to you but would actually be right in the middle.

Howdy, Whichdy, Wheredy, Whody, Whatdy

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Things You've Never Heard on Your Birthday

Since you knew you'd be hearing "Happy Birthday" today here is something you never thought you'd hear

If you scribble on tarmacs with frozen air by next next next June you'll never need chalk scissors again.

The eggs are growing leather inside to infiltrate breakfast with beef. But I know you'll keep everything springy for the rest of us.

Congrats your life has not been erased by a time traveler in this timeline unless you're General Geoinge.

Your ridged pelt has a fine left. Put rights on the almonds & you will have a smelted foyer.

I was going to put caterpillars in my veins but I wasn't strong enough. You're good at welcoming palisades underwater with felt.

Hope your garbanzo lengthening is going well.

You'll now spend 5year% time on the wallet train basking in fjord canyons.

Have fun spackling the werewolf factory with fire cone lettering!

It is a good time to still be alive. Have some bread with the gopher at the park.

I heard your ears & they work! You can never be too shelf.

I have an invisible & immaterial hang glider for you in the twelfth dimension. But don't feel bad because everything in that dimension is incorporeal, so much so I'm beginning to think the 12th dimension doesn't exist.

Enjoy milking the peppers from your garden with your new desk wrench!

Party on with your landcolor diamondique lizard ranch envelope!

If you were a piece of paper no one would ball you up. You'd be the hoop, net, end zone, or other size of the fence.

The leaves are ripe today. It is thrilling to have such a foamed vest!

A branch joyous weds. A breach wounds joys. A cab sojourned whys.

You were born too!! That explains how you got here.