Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016 Lesson Leftovers

Oddtober III Leftovers:
You are weird if you’ve sold your sole but still wear the same shoe.

You are weird if you use your toothbrush to style your teeth.

You are weird if you use onion juice as shampoo.

You are weird if you use mannequins instead of clothes hangers.

You are weird if you keep kerosene in your back pocket in case someone wants to light a fire under you.

You are weird if you give out apples with razers in them so folks will have something to peel the apples with.

Getting picked last isn't as weird as getting picked 631st.

Other Lesson Leftovers:
Islands are so selfish. Uslands tho, that’s what I want to visit.

Soon plants will sway in the wind disproportionate to the amount of wind being blown.

Print out all your e-mails, place them in envelopes, & put them in your mailbox tonight to make yourself feel special tomorrow.

Those who stand for everything force you to fall for anything.

Shadows are darkness walking.

Pillow salesmen smother the back of people’s heads.

As dangerous as walking around with a VR headset on may be it does prevent you from smashing your face.

Sports are fun on fields but if they were played in forests they would be even better! We have the camera technology. Let’s do it. And sports on courts could be done instead in jail cells & that’ll make pro-athletes who are criminals no problem.

Don'tcember Leftovers:
Don't go door to door trying to sell your soul. The only people who will buy it have big gates.

Don't tarnish your legacy, varnish your legacy.

Don't have a skunk as a pet unless you keep it in a bubble boy bubble.

Don’t jump out of a plane without a parachute unless you’re a bird. Birds, don’t wear parachutes, they’ll just slow you down. But birds, if you really want to, be sure the parachute is bird sized.

Don't use glass soda bottles for bowling, they're not bowls!!

Don't loan your phone to a fish, they can't talk or text or play games & your phone will get wet.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

+=- Octomop Replacement Savages

Ice pipe walking into news silo. Home grasp cat a tropic funnel breeze order. A land of W sandwiches, which is made of sand? Sand is made of which? Behaving salad coaching in Allisonsota. Muggers caught on camera mugging at mugs then stealing their cocoa. I'lll alllow this map to grow with undying privllledges.

A tripping hedge. Pee-wee's living speed bumps. Cowcats on the range. Stop cooking those beef kitties! The tree was angry that it couldn't get a job at the post office, all the jobs were taken by humans. All that paper was creepy too.

I'm not buying a pair of keet unless it's BOGO.

If night time were a camp we'd all follow mugger's luggage rules.
..the number 4, the one after 3 & waaay before 196.2
If eggs had scabs would you eat them?
What other kind of preference is there other than a personal preference? One imposed by the state?

Wrist watches with hair pieces. Shoulder watches with a full hair.

Real wreath running rippingly reminder chalice. Disclairity for daytime series of golf ledge ocean wishing engines. This is not a downtown hat.

Frozen toast identifies as windows.
Laughing mask doesn't make a sound.
Amazing numbers are free to flourish unnamed, all named with no end.
Megascule tightening air in outerspace.
Dumbo eating gumbo talking mumbo jumbo while watching Columbo.
All lightning banks burn down.
Skiing on slopes of light.
Mocking ultracabbage friendships.
Parachute gun.
Typing "ladder"
Reorganized tray of smooth round rock shaped ice.
Silk mobile caption.
Pilgrimage keys swirling dynastic overage.
Who walks well known tree skirts?

Scissor panicking about tarp. Underwater violinist. Drowning honey. Octomop replacement savages. Pair or scope raveling chair minus huge limbo stick raining cabbage juice simulat. Copy that. Paste that. W shivvers. Nonogon smelt deity lunch rafters barn bowling scepter Schlumpm Schlump, Katool! Abridged squint sloshing. Dogs barking at notches in coat. Symbolgy garish heirmisalignedloom shadow kibble unjust borrowing knickers. No one tries bumping butterfly caskets off of noctobreakfast canuck nooks. Manually hunting to establish a desired average sized bowl of bug cereal. Tyrannosaurs blessed. Extinguished coal breadth. Neight. Dust is watching. Dust is waiting. Dust has given up on the mission.

Keep On Truckin' and...

Keep On Truckin'
Keep on Armored Carin'
Keep on Automobilein'
Keep on Hang Glidingin'
Keep on Mid-size Sports Utility Vehiclein'
Keep on Hovercraftn'
Keep on Teacup Riden'
Keep on Magic Carpetin'
Keep on Falkorn'
Keep on Airforce Onein'
Keep on Tankin'
Keep on Soap Box Racerin'
Keep on Busin'
Keep on Ambulancein'
Keep on Battleshipin'
Keep on Biplanein'
Keep on Blimpin'
Keep on Chariotin'
Keep on Chopperin'
Keep on Wagonin'
Keep on Eighteen-wheelerin'
Keep on Elevatorin'
Keep on Escalatorin'
Keep on Fire Enginein'
Keep on Four-Door Sedanin'
Keep on Freighterin'
Keep on Frigatein'
Keep on Gondolain'
Keep on Harvesterin'
Keep on Hearsein'
Keep on Houseboatin'
Keep on Jalopyin'
Keep on Jumbo jetin'
Keep on Stretch Limoin'
Keep on Locomotivein'
Keep on Ocean Linerin'
Keep on Oil Tankerin'
Keep on Rickshawin'
Keep on Segwayin'
Keep on Semiin'
Keep on Ski Liftin'
Keep on Submersiblein'
Keep on Thresherin'
Keep on Tractor-trailerin'
Keep on Tramin'
Keep on Tricyclin'
Keep on Trolleyin'
Keep on Vanin'
Keep on Vespain'
Keep on Vesselin'
Keep on Yachtin'
Keep on Zamboniin'
Keep on Zeppelinin'

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

+=- All my clocks on a bridge

"Your Password needs to be at least 6 characters."
Ok um let’s see.. Wilbur Cobb, President Millard, Karnov, FedEx Pope, Royce McCutcheon, Dorf plays golf, NOT Dorf goes fishing, that is not the same Dorf I grew up with…

[In a Metropolis Chatroom]:  It doesn't matter if you've never seen Clark Kent & Superman at the same time. I've never seen you & me at the same time either! That doesn't mean we're the same person!
Of course I know what I'm doing. I was doing this back when you were in diapers! Because you dressed as a baby on Halloween 2016.

Does anyone hold the world record for most editions of the Guinness Book of World Records read in one day? & yeah I know if I went for the record I'd find out!

All my clocks were made in Mexico. So in November when they told me to set my clocks back I thought they meant vote for Trump.

I met this guy who had his hand over his heart & thought, "That gentleman really love America." Turns out he was having a heart attack. But I like to think it was both.

Love doesn't make sense. Love is better than cents it's dollars.

I take people personally & rocks rocksonally.

Video I don’t have the time, strength, friends, or money to make:
A medieval monk dramatically drowning a cabbage where both the monk & cabbage wear googly eyes & ‘ot 6 mustaches

Why does this bathroom always smell like crap? Oh right

He was always afraid I'd steal his car. So I figured why let those fears go to waste. Being afraid is half the misery, so why not go through with it, officer.

Danger Level (lowest to highest):
• Falling on a bridge
• Falling off a bridge
• Falling through a bridge
• Falling up from a bridge into outer space
• Falling up through a bridge into outer space
• Falling up through a bridge into outer space but also hitting an aeroplane on the way up
• A large meteor hits an aeroplane & then hits you after you fell through a bridge
• Falling through a bridge as a meteor hurdles towards you then gravity reverses & you fall up through the bridge again as you begin burning in the atmosphere gravity reverses again & the meteor follows you down through the bridge