Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016 Lesson Leftovers

Oddtober III Leftovers:
You are weird if you’ve sold your sole but still wear the same shoe.

You are weird if you use your toothbrush to style your teeth.

You are weird if you use onion juice as shampoo.

You are weird if you use mannequins instead of clothes hangers.

You are weird if you keep kerosene in your back pocket in case someone wants to light a fire under you.

You are weird if you give out apples with razers in them so folks will have something to peel the apples with.

Getting picked last isn't as weird as getting picked 631st.

Other Lesson Leftovers:
Islands are so selfish. Uslands tho, that’s what I want to visit.

Soon plants will sway in the wind disproportionate to the amount of wind being blown.

Print out all your e-mails, place them in envelopes, & put them in your mailbox tonight to make yourself feel special tomorrow.

Those who stand for everything force you to fall for anything.

Shadows are darkness walking.

Pillow salesmen smother the back of people’s heads.

As dangerous as walking around with a VR headset on may be it does prevent you from smashing your face.

Sports are fun on fields but if they were played in forests they would be even better! We have the camera technology. Let’s do it. And sports on courts could be done instead in jail cells & that’ll make pro-athletes who are criminals no problem.

Don'tcember Leftovers:
Don't go door to door trying to sell your soul. The only people who will buy it have big gates.

Don't tarnish your legacy, varnish your legacy.

Don't have a skunk as a pet unless you keep it in a bubble boy bubble.

Don’t jump out of a plane without a parachute unless you’re a bird. Birds, don’t wear parachutes, they’ll just slow you down. But birds, if you really want to, be sure the parachute is bird sized.

Don't use glass soda bottles for bowling, they're not bowls!!

Don't loan your phone to a fish, they can't talk or text or play games & your phone will get wet.

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