Piemerica's 7 Random Acts of Kindness for the Week of Nov. 30-Dec. 6, 2014

1. Don't give a pilot your leftover turkey.
2. Wake up early & catch some worms so you can give them to those straggling late birds.
3. Pre-plunge a toilet.
4. Give hats & bumper stickers to people who don't have vehicles so they too can express their annoying clichéd opinions to the world.
5. Keep people from sucking by stealing free straws.
6. Program a robot to do your chores & errands so you can spare your friends by no longer complaining about everything you have to do.
7. Collect rain water from every rain & store it in dated jars to make even the most extreme hoarders feel better about their state of mind.