+=- Dominoes

Can someone help me knock these dominoes over?
▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐▐

Even without gravity pillows are awesome.

I'll never fall off the map because I've got it tattooed on my feet.

Sign cabbages, spoil, get another one.

So I used to think tourettes was another way of saying stewardesses.

I'll be there around 10 somethingish.

Some say you have to be your kid's parent & not their friend. But those people must be pretty lousy friends because I've got a 1 year old & I don't see much of a difference. If a friend of mine came over & started throwing food on the floor, playing with my wires, & digging through my trash I'd insist that they stop too.

There aren't nine enough.

Alright! I figured out how to knock down the dominoes!
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MARS Taglines

I like to take the song titles from my albums & make some poetry or a story from them as a "tagline" for the album.

There was almost a purpose but it robbed my rest. I'm not at home. I'm here affected by empty effects.  ~Norvon Mac

Smothered by survival with pleasure that never knocks. Love is not idle but we're all in the garage.  ~Food Dood

There is nothing to remember & we will help you get up. We'll keep you warm in December & loved for the rest of your life.  ~Zer- Cred--

Anywhere or alone, I have it all, I have a home.  ~Prodigious in Paltry

I want what you want yet I don't know. I fight & I scrape feeling dark & alone. But there you are freeing me & filling me up because I found what you wanted. You simply wanted me.  ~Mirroring Wishes

I could hear how my brain handles morning light.  ~A.M. Rang a Song

To save time I only looked at me then I grew my mind & was set free. The packers & gardeners could not let me go ungroomed. I wanted them out of my ear so they lost root. Now I am free to live while resting complete. A whole new language is opened up to me. You won't make me into a goat again. I am a warrior who doesn't need to win.  ~Wonbex Ider

Through the barren I found what I could be. Beautiful lights shining on & from me. I heard blue explode & drift away. But still they were searching as if it persisted to the day.

Making it impossible is the easiest thing. Fear will depress you & grate on your brain. They couldn't get started. They aren't enjoying the good they deserve. For them it is sadder than sunset in a wilderness world.

The cuffs stay on for all of their lives. You have to erase your heaven's eyes. I wish you were all riding with me in this amazing place but your self-imposed night is always ready to lay waste. Some day you will know what it was really about. When the credits are rolling just don't walk out.  ~When Blue Blew

If you look at the song titles on When Blue Blew each paragraph is for a side of the album (1st one for dry side, 2nd for wet side, 3rd for out side). So I took the titles that were only meant to describe the sounds of the songs & somehow they magically can turn into a story. It is almost eerie writing it out because of how much unintentional sense is there to be made.

Check out the MARS website to listen to & download these albums & more.

Everyday Codes Cracked

To Star & Micey

I cracked the code in your album. I took every 3rd word from each song then every fourth word & every fifth word minus the last two songs & got your secret message. & here it is for everyone to see!!

You was the me.

The unknown night fire all in love.

A frontseat smiles sky to when baby.

In the me time, yeah when its yourself, you.

I did the same thing with I Can't Wait but with the 2nd-5th words.

A got had had.

Corner home,

80s you in late jeans on Memphis last.

Amazing work hiding these profound things in the lyrics!

To Geoff Smith

I found your secret message from the first verse of Get Up Billy I took every 2nd, 3rd, & 4th word beginning the cycle over at the 6th word skipping the last four of the fourth & got your amazing message!

A where freeze.

The you, his star one.

This schoolhouse, the these streets & name wars.

Look is in buses kids, they're me.

To Scary Smile Man

Wow! I found your amazing cryptic art that you hid in the 576 Square pixels from the bottom left corner of your last 5 mobile uploads (as of 8/8/13 3:33PM EST) that was meant to be placed together.

Cool work dude!

To Ryan Munson

I found your secret message hidden as the 2nd word of each of your last 5 status messages in reverse chronological order.

"Rides gang really selling! Believe!"

I do.. Now!

I know sometimes we can't always say what we really feel so we hide our feelings in anagrams of what we do say. & I just want to thank you for saying this in the second half of your last sentence, "Deep, Wept Rough, kook."

When Blue Blew Album Promos

My new abtracticalreish album, When Blue Blew, with mental imagery & heart emotion painted with sound.

---

Piemerica's Classic Lessons from this Day:
Some people will never learn. The sad thing is most of those people go to school.

Poke a staircase in the lid it might open.

Is your throat sore from laughing so hard at our lessons? Well why not give your throat a break & make your ears sore..ly appointed by listening to the new album by MARS, When Blue Blew

---

Piemerica's Lesson of/for the Day:
A candle may not be a game but it, like most light matter, can be used in a game of catch.

That's right, I can come out with a new lesson & a new album all on the same day. I'd like to see you door-to-door cantaloupe salesmen try to top that!

Listen to When Blue Blew, the new album by MARS so you too can stop being plagued by memories of being thrown off the handball team your the IIIrd year.

Equal Non-Equal Neutral Verses 0-6.5 Text Highlights

Equal Non-Equal Neutral consists of 6,397 words written with the intent to be the longest, stupidest, & most non-sensical song ever. It was written on various dates staring 10/27/00 & ending 11/15/02. These words were used to finally make the "song" in two albums by MARS, 2007's Besides: Equal Non-Equal Neutral & 2009's 86 minute, 41 track Equal Non-Equal Neutral. They were also collected into a book based on how they were divided on the albums.

Below are my favorite 539 words from the 1,237 words included in Verses 0 to 6.5. [Also seeEqual Non-Equal Neutral Verses 7.1-7.10 Text Highlights]


Funny
My muffin walks around like it don't know anything.
Walk as far as you can to Cleveland even though you live there already.
Is everything just reality or some kind of goat?
I'll trade you my key for an hour of digging in the sand with my face.
Ha, Ha! I beat you to the punch. Though I wish I didn't cause it really hurt my nose.
Cardboard noses made of plastic.
unsavory beetle connoisseur

Zany
Living & dying & comb.
If it's safe for fleas, so can you?
Throw a basesball bat at the sun.
Break my fake oriented limbo dog who tries to knock down a wall with a trip to the Bahamas.
Blueberry dwarfs sticking to the ceiling for no reason.
Lamination hat bake a kennel stoop? Habitation egg hab a nibble loop?
Everybody, who is ready for a huge party tonight celebrating if.
Toured salesmen in the street try on different pairs of feet, ever since they made that law in 2041.
Make Waldo's seat burn at a single touch of a piece of ice.
Holster stan o' matic now on sale for the copper eaters.
My vacuum cleaner is sofa!!
Undiobedience= ceiling as you should!
As leaking goes sit on a at.
Nothing but Laundromats hanging off vines
I can tell ultrasnake is oh so drill.
egg roll calligraphy
phonograph stating "I'm not cook well."
I grow fairies, not very lasering
"Just as well," states unstale.

Poetic
Soon & very wakely
slow can crop
Moving hole in the ground so so cold.
saving clocks is the #1 scrape~ing
Growing unconsciousness
Grape thief sitting at a taste.
Climb waiting for a painting
Pin up a fame enough for another.
We could've hot.
Summer pays too ways haversack plod.
All bedaub grandee bloc.
all I need is to be.. SAKE!
Rabid strongholds tear apart your self-ambition which you got from a bar of soap that came out a box which you thoughted in.
Ready for a sad preview of sip & globe?
Faced with a traced bitter haste
Swimming sofas loop together in a barb wire fence from the back of a cereal box.
Weaving a trade market autohat pat.
Straws dug into my REcord.
In the sameling stray
Tree lamb wretched combed philosophy. Est.
Harlem oat sleeve.
Time soaks laster in thuh noise.
A can o'. Fast a pan o'.
Hydro implement indiglow beans
Static Don't tell the door!!
Happy make a hog out of vase!!
Goo fever is aid.  Gag one solid born cave!!
Hidden organ under a hoop of stun!!
Seat fate on flow soon in deer saddle odd job lane.
Cloud bleeding knife
Unleash mine rabid cans of yellow potatoing carr(bean)ot.
Olive scaling meek.
Seeking axis heaping on shutters.
Fake uncles shatter at famine delight, of.
Cradle me in your have.
Laced trolley or sized.
Lambing sag fun.
silent scolding
Many Limb know not the joy of creek.
face on donuts
elastic mask peach
soapy timeless smelt
Soft graffiti
hollow ghost surrender meat
allegro curb dew
octopus cape furring
unstale wordless maples starting out
See no way we seat belt transcend, I'm about.
We're not flavored bleach
Light on a stone fly, fed up furn to say, "I've sewn decory all trust bow mule as."
Sought he sorrow, font comma cule feast.
Neon scroll fumble

+=- More colors than you could imagine with your heart.

Sleep Juggling,

I juggle in my sleep

& then I butter sheep

That's not what Eddie Johnson-Suarez said at the hardware store when I was buying pool nails.

She's in a class by herself & she's the teacher.

I'm the thing from the crystal lake. I've got a taco bucket & a pile of shanks.

How many hands does it take to chew marbles? You're a shaker, a stew baker & your arms are never rude. Holes made of glass, glass holes. Brillo tear mask. A cabbage called Bikemichael. Sweet gas smells. No one hated bunny eyebrows. He was only interested in owl sounds coming from the dashboards of wrecked cars.

I bet you're on this planet & sci-fi makes us feel alone. Well I'm not standing on Norvon Mac where its shady. I've come back from home. You can test your eyelids with honey to see if they attract wasps. I'm gonna keep it light & funny like a 4 ton hammer hammering gauze. That roll don't need hammered you can just roll it out. Take that white strip that ain't a sammich thru a balloon shaped route.

Our belts are hungry for more bellies so they hang loose. I spelled loose like a looser & yelled "Ramen!" like a moose. I grainy carrot fencing plotted to plod. A knuckle under white horse leather simmering in its mind's jackhammer fawn dose alivener.

Amidst rope, yellow salad coming, combing. Ferries without upsidedownlids. A fawl carpet lens on your camera trigger courting counting because a relationship with counting can easily last forever.

Clouds were tender eyevelopes, no opener but fog. A like quilted funny paper. Why are they always signing funny papers? We live with funny screens? Paper left its job at the microphone.


Clean left him poor his whole life. I told him to stop ironing his cars, that those wrinkles were tread. Well he told me all wrinkles come from treading my man & home is wherever your sweat is from fun. He liked using air quotes even while typing so he never got 1 editing job. He hated cars that were all drive & no parking. He said scissors pray to the mob. Which mob I never knew but one thing was for sure. The rest of the things went to mystery & whatever lung sucking thing that's out that door. I called him a hero but he said he just row down the shore. I made a million boxes out of eagles & they never told me what for.

And I've got a fire in my eye. I keep tryin' by cryin' to put it out. But no matter how much I scream, shout, & pout it never goes out. So I took my fillet to the canyon & knocked the hall right out. So now no one doubts me because they've heard all about me & I don't wear chalk. I hear that chalk helps you talk but I don't want to walk or talk, just balk, balk, balk. Then balk at balking.

I review hammocks in my spare time but I review how well they hold their liquor.

Someone told me that he has neighbors from hell & I said that's a good thing because it means they are on their way up in life. Coming from hell is much better than going to hell. It's hard to escape hell you have to win a fiddln' contest.

Tugging at a toast ghost.

Zombies have prosthetic life but their body parts are real.

They weren't grochers, they were grochests!

You'll never meet a hemophiliac box.

Flydeep Frin Felgest juggled conspiritists with a spoon.

+=- One Day They Will Take Our Faces Too

I've spelt with B's before. Like, I've spelt the word before before.

Belts made of glass.

It is like septic elves spinning cartoon projections onto a forged stallion's ear.

If I weren't a sentient skillet I would sue the farm for all of its bees. They'd have to catch them because it is not a bee farm.

Invisible question marks are true question marks because their existence is questionable.

I have 7 equal signs in my trunk because 7 is an uneven number.

I'm not a cannibal but I like human meat because it lets me move.

The sky gets crowded with summer in June.

Being cool sucks & so does being lame because you have to un-be.

I watch lots of hammers in case they are planning something..

I may be city folk now but I can still milk a cow faster than a horse can!

Just being here with you makes me want to cry with a bushel of arrows on my lap.

MAR:  Your Welching the pillow dome?
Edward:  No I'm stuffing the welch with toilet paper and sending it off to sea
MAR:  Are you a super villain who is trying to soak up the ocean?
Edward:  Where would I put it in?
MAR:  Another planet to create life there.
Edward:  Yeah no one would find it there
MAR:  Except the new guys that are born from the space ocean.
Edward:  I'll put in on dark side of the moon, the moon is like a giant sponge. They won't know cause it'll be too dark.
MAR:  But I thought the moon was flat.. Oh I guess flat things have too sides two.
MAR:  Do you ever count your tears so you can become a living geology?
Edward:  How would counting my tears make me a geology?
MAR:  Yeah you must not have tried it then since you are asking.
Edward:  I have tried counting my prayers so that I can become a living God.
MAR:  Because you can hear yourself?
Edward:  I can also see myself.
MAR:  I love it when people know their terror soup!
Edward:  I use terror sauce on my crime burger with my offensive hot dog.
MAR:  Offensive like a futbol player or like a guy we hate because he says verbal hot dogs?
Edward:  Offensive like people who talk on the phone loudly while you are waiting for the light to change on the street
MAR:  You have streets where you live? I live in a vending machine (for now). This hungry poor guy keeps eyeballing me.
Edward:  I'm actually a tree. At night I uproot and move to places with better sunlight and less smoke in the air.
MAR:  Can you smell smoke?
Edward:  It sticks to my leaves and blocks my pores.
MAR:  So when you dream about banks who is sitting to the 3rd door to the left in the 2nd seat from the right?
Edward:  The man who is up when he is down while the bread crumbs are besides the oven which is to the left of the freezer.
MAR:  I hate that guy (on Tuesdays). I hate punk rockers too. They always breaking when I sit in them.
MAR:  *GASP GAPS*
Edward:  You are the last tear of the sun, dried.
MAR:  I was hired by SPAM® to have meaningful conversations online to improve their image. How meaningful would you rate this conversation on an electronic scale of Aleph to Yod?
Edward:  Bet.
MAR:  with Aleph being the highest or lowest?
Edward:  I think it's the lowest.
MAR:  Ok. One final question then. Has this conversation made you depressed enough to eat SPAM®? Diet is so important. Eat more SPAM® (visit www.spam.com or your local grocer).

+ = - A Van of Regular Turtles.

It's a superliminal delauch array. If you unfocus your eyes for 3 months.. you're on the team!

2 page real trace review. Look again.

How many cubes do you have? I've spelt the word cube.

People decompose in dirt but plants compose in dirt so what do submarines do?

Gross income is gross because I should get all my money. They better stop taxing us when we all have jet packs since we won't need streets or schools anymore.

Yeah I'd deliver boat crust too if I were a marmoset.

I'm willing to bet Edgar's gramnana 3 cents that you can cut the unfrozen mustard without leaving a streak on the napkin.

Do you remember that guy.. the president. He sure has wacky hair huh? I used to be the president.. of a van.. of turtles. They weren't ninjas either :(

MAR:  I had a horse in my circus days that walked on four globes. We called him the globe trotter.
armyghost88:  I once digested a diary and drew the perfect parallelogram.
MAR:  Was it the diary of a bear ghost with teeth? Because they are the only ghosts with teeth.
armyghost88:  I have yet to see such shining sails and rubber hoses. I doused the treble in the orange paint and kept on marching.

I saw him on my tv once. I was all like get off of my tv that is a flatscreen you cad! I was polite. I used lego curse words.

MAR:  You don't blend hippos do you?
Stranger:  Are you drunk?
MAR:  Yeah this vampire totally made me light headed without even a helmet.

I had a bowl then I saved up for 6 fortnites & bought another bowl but then that one broke so I borrowed a bowl to trade for 2 bowls at the Sandpete so I could make a bowling ball that doesn't roll away.

You are too rich to have so many lands. You should give yourself a robot that acts as shoulder pads that can talk & be a cartoon rugby player who uses pads.

No one ever misspells frost they just invent 3rd world editions of bord-games.

I have 2 lions named Kid so I can say I have kids because I hateish goats & my kids don't like being sounded like they owned.

I wish I weren't made of Diet Crystal Pepsi 3000 as advertised in an alternate reality on the DuMont Television Network.

I KILL plants for breakfast!! Look out!

yeah... *shoots self.. in the foot.. for using too many ellipses...*... ...(because ellipses look like bullets & dot feet)

Time Inside Flowers

YOU ARE NORMAL IF..

YOU ARE NORMAL IF..

You don't like selling your soul but you do like selling your unused exercise equipment.

You don't like being driven crazy but you do like being driven to the donut shop.

You don't like biting the dust but you do like biting fresh fruit.

You don't like throwing in the towel but you do like throwing in the first pitch at a major league baseball game.

You don't like the smell of defeat but you do like the smell of fresh baked bread.

You don't like being caught on fire but you do like being caught while jumping out of a window to escape from a fire.

You don't like paying taxes but you do like paying for goods & services of your choice.

You don't like being cut from the team but you do like being cut from a giant alien's spider web.

You don't like picking up the check but you do like picking up your favorite pet.

You don't like passing a golden opportunity but you do like passing people with golden teeth.

You don't like feeling sad but you do like feeling things to know you still have a sense of touch.

You don't like eating out of the trash but you do like eating pre-trash.

You don't like mailing threatening letters but you do like mailing birthday cards.

You don't like wasting time but you do like wasting waste.

You don't like being called yellow but you do like being called on the phone by your best friend.

You don't like losing your mind but you do like losing the maniac who is vehicularly chasing you.

You don't like having your pants fall down in public but you do like having your pants fall down while testing the consistency of earth's gravity to keep you from being paranoid about your car floating away on your morning commute to work.

You don't like waiting at the doctor's office but you do like waiting for meat to be thoroughly cooked.

You don't like seeing doctors play god but you do like seeing doctors play hopscotch.

You don't like facing your fears but you do like facing your television while watching it instead of having all of your furniture facing the opposite direction.

You don't like arrogant people but you do like feeling superior to arrogant people.

You don't like hearing about a tragedy but you do like hearing your favorite tune.

You don't like the pilot saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing some turbulence" but you do like the pilot saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing some nacho surplus."

+=- That's not

He eats gazpacho with armoured billie goat pendants.

I hate those M&Ms puzzles they sell next to the checkout at the grocery. I never get enough brown pieces to make the picture on the front. What a rip off!!

Found under a pound of warp. Nice tree, nice tree. Don't fall my sound. I can ever. You'll be the last frame. They'll never see us again. The stillness is the world & motion is imagination. Three minks coughing shadows. Daytime. The ledge of a lost envelope. 0-22 are 23 spurious numbers. 1 or none. 23 or none. Helping a heap. Helping a heap. Helping a heap. Mylar explodes ostrich bandages. Color was my taste & five wings flew over nothing. Wingface was a terrible super villain because he was an awesome hero. We are the vestiges of the future. Hold your grip while your crew stands. They were all lying.. or was it laying? The button was depressed because it was a shirt button & not a button that can be pressed & de-pressed.

Putting the cart before the horse is a good idea if the cart floats & the horse is in water.

+=- Who is the sandwich?

Who is the sandwich?
I write my alabama sideways. 67 envelopes deplore happiness because they have to be ripped open for ours. If fire were colours that you couldn't see, how many Frenchmen would have flat tires? The water was dusty. I picked a cloud from the dirt. Pleated was inspired by hooks on the wall. Headless ghosts would bump into walls if they weren't ghosts.

Caren was named after her attitude because she cared that she was born. Bill was named because his parents had no insurance. Greg was named because his parents liked dog marmoset hybrids. Now you know who you are Greg.

He heard bats with his eyes & heard liver with his spleen. In their climate they only painted with light jackets of paint. The light growled as its spectrum inverted. There are so many colors that don't exist. I fought my way up the stairs by stomping the steps' heads in. He looked both ways before crossing a friend. His way & his other way.

A pile of parties fumigated in the backyard. The lawn never wanted to be mowed again. Cameras let us capture moments but moments aren't domesticated so sometimes moments capture us back. Francis was at the hill cooking stew without a pot & cooling pots without stew. Spiders have a lot of pockets because of their awesome pants.

He was the flotsamest man in the universe.. after he was teleported to an empty universe.
Who is the sandwich & what did I truth?

+=- 27.9972602739726027

Melody is the best baby & she eats things that are the consistency of gravy.

If you are what you eat then I'm tasty sweet & loved by millions. #eatingdonuts

Remember that time Edgar gave you that wooden toast & you were in the hospital for 3 years? No? Yeah we thought you had lost your memory.

I found a purple monkey in the dishwasher! You washed your pink plate again! You know you can't mix colored dishes with white dishes.

Check out my beautiful eyes i i

Pokemon seem dumb, just saying their own name all the time. But Pokemon use mouth telepathy. They transmit their thoughts through sound-waves because how else could they get them to your mind? Mouth telepathy is the only real telepathy.

Circa Feb 2002:
shaved is rollar couch

Stuffed Chip

+=- Tresident

Kids who grow up on a farm have more expected of them because so many other things grow on a farm thus just simply growing is not as impressive.

He drove the Cadillac of unicycles so the foam teeth hammers would be 46% off on Grayish Purple Tuesday, the worst shopping day of the Jalali calendar year.

Jean was so uncomfortable kissing in public that she got married at Make-Out Point at 10:27 PM on the night of the local prom. A few teen couples nearby accidentally eloped because they kissed at the same time as the bride & the groom, Mr. Hackenschmidt.

5 armed Zeidslurtz was excited to visit earth to participate in high-fives because on his planet beings only have 4 hands. His Omnegtolitum-English dictionary misled him however & he was greatly disappointed in we two-handed humans. He was going to destroy the earth until he saw someone giving away free kittens in a shopping parking lot. He know lives in Normal, IL enjoying petting his 5 kitties.

Despite some Americans despise illegal aliens Mexicans amazingly have diplomatic immunity on most planets.

Glick had 5 toasters stationed outside his backdoor just in case any of his toasts tried to escape to say kind things at parties.

Some people think we are supposed to bring heaven to earth, but it just doesn't work. The best we can do is to get the lion & the lamb to sleep in a bunk bed.

+=- Grey Spray Painted Windows

I used to be a very shady fellow but since I lost some weight I don't cast as much shade.

Raindrops began to wear jackets with lightning bolts on them, real lightning bolts. This was lightning's sole chance to do more than just taste the earth. The rain pooled into electrified puddles. Tiny lights were falling from the sky. It is so hard to celebrate such dangerous beauty.

Putting clogs down your garbage disposal results in a clog clog.

You can't light a fire under someone twice in the same year because once their bottom is burnt they won't sit down the same way.

He never learned anything in class so he took a class on how to take classes & because of the circular nature of it all he never learned anything, not just in class but anywhere in life. It was a good thing he was already 150 years old & knew everything he needed to know.

Filter bowl carpet sponge ellet.

The refrigerator is riding a motorcycle. The mini-fridge is riding a motortricycle.

+ = - Banana Brot

Colors in the park & I'm a wrench. Built to build but I cannot build other wrenches so my greater purpose is not great & my meaning is mean to me.

When you fall in the woods you cann appreciate the ground. You are barely over it & so close to being under it.

I wore my teeth as mouth necklaces all summer long.

When they were passing out disasters in heaven he didn't take one. The rest of us went through the line multiple times because we foolishly thought it was noble.

He had an app that scanned his surroundings & pulled up user reviews of everything in existence. Yet he still didn't trust a soul.

It is customary in some non-Tuvaluan cultures for the parents of the bride to put a wedge in-between the bride & groom, a grapefruit wedge. This was the only way Maori businesswomen could sell any fruit because in Piemerican Ecuador you can pick fruit for free provided you have arms or toes.

Gnell learned how to fry an egg on her back porch. She got strange looks for having a porch attached to her shoulders.

1 million people a day bathe in onions. They are the tiny people we eat but never see.

In evolutionism stew made Stu. In creationion Stu made you but later changed His name to Jesus.

Deserts have trees but when you are not looking invisible palm trees eat all of the other trees, roots & all.

I bought some apple sauce at the store the other day. It tasted redundant eating it on my apples. It was like buying ketchup sauce for catsup. What a scam!

Toonairy had a terrible dirt hoarding problem but no one ever noticed because he kept it all under his house in his secret cavern.

He wasn't your ordinary man made of ice that can only digest fire. No, there were no ordinary guys like that. When he goes out to dinner he has to have you throw liquid nitrogen on him every time he takes a bite. And he can't bite because his teeth melt. He fasts as long as he can but everytime he eats his shape changes dramatically. I've never seen a guy like him, not even him.

You:  We lived near each other.
Me:  No... where?
You:  Near each other.
Me:  No.
You:  One Four
Me:  Two Love
You:  Street
Me:  Not there. You were never home.
You:  You saw me!
Me:  Yes & you were never home.
You:  You're right. I never LIVED near you.

Your Butler:  There are some men here for you madam.
You Are A Woman:  Tell them I was never here & they were never men.
Your Butler:  Gentlemen you were never here & she was never a woman.
Some Men (You're probably one of them):  What is this fiction?
Your Pretend Butler:  But of course.
Some Pretend Men:  But if this is fiction how can we trust you?
Your Pretend Butler (who is retiring in 3 weeks):  You can't because you were never here.
Some Pretend Men (minus 1):  But are you here?
Your Pretend Butler:  Not for long because this is the last line of the script. Some Pretend Men:  We'll see about that! Your Pretend Butler:  Oh my, someone has been misoperating the carriage return.

Toasters are where toasts have their funerals. Our butter & plates are their afterlife.

He was a true Renaissance man. The kind that chefs made salads for.

Hippie Teacher (who has field trips to teach in the forest):  Aristotle didn't have electricity & he turned out fine.
Stu Dent:  How do you know he didn't turn into a weredolphin at night since there were no lights?
Hippie Teacher:  He did but becoming a weredolphin is the noblest cause in human history.
Stu Ding:  I am bad at recycling. Should I just wrap myself in trash like a mummy to replace my clothes?
Hippie Teacher:  Yes but not banana peels. Banana's are our true DNA half-brothers.
Sue Skrach:  Since pollution will destroy the world why don't we crash into cars until there aren't any cars anymore?
Hippie Teacher:  Because one of those people we auto-murder could end up coming up with a cure for step-mother Earth.
Freddy Flattyre:  What do you mean step-mother earth?
Hippie Teacher:  We're all originally from the planet Tetrionfour but our dad, Time, got a divorce & now we live on step-mother Earth. This is why we have so many natural disasters. Step-mother just cannot love us as much as mummy did. (Sheds a single tear from each eye then wipes them). This is also why bananas are the true sons of Earth.
Ted Enthetrunk:  What happened to daddy Time?
Hippie Teacher:  He died. Now there is no time.
Olivia Brokenpassengersidemirror:  Then when is this happening?
Hippie Teacher:  It isn't. Now there is no more time for questions.
All (The Complete Car):  Now there is no time at all.

The Star & Micey's of Other Dimensions

The truth of life is that in every alternate dimension the only thing different is that proper nouns are all anagrams of each other. I've been to 45 alternate dimensions & Star & Micey has a different name in each one. Here are my favorite ones. Note this is with "and" spelled out & not as &, Ampersands are the enemy of extra-galaxian-phonospheric-talmadge. If you thought Star & Micey's name was silly in this dimension check out these hilarious alternate reality names they DO have.

Dramatic Yens
Daycare Mints
Marinade Cyst
Dairyman Sect
Yardman Cites
Cards Anytime
Amnesic Tardy
Semantic Yard
Scream Dainty
Ancestry Maid
Carneys Admit
Narc Daytimes (as in narcoleptic, I know because I asked Job Cos Shy, Heft Fig Oms, & Doc Nerd Mink)
Scant Midyear
Cyan Readmits (Pronounced Red mitts)
Sac Dynamiter
Cat's Dairymen
A Card's Enmity
A Mantis' Cyder
Maniac Ed's Try
My Dance Stair (My favorite)

Cayman Stride
Arcades Minty
Canary Misted
Tradesman Icy
Syndicate Arm
Cyanide Trams
Decay Martins
Dancers Amity
Dynamic Rates
Rancid Steamy
Miscreant Day
Stance Myriad
Antics Dreamy
Scanty Admire
Can't Midyears
A Dynastic Rem
Canard Ye Smit
Dry Satan Mice
Aced My Trains
A Candy Remits (A C&y Remits)
A Sandy Metric
AM Stridency A
Mandate Cry Is..

Get closer to this dimension's Star & Micey @ starandmicey.com

+=- The Pre-quill

My clock is awesome! It can take phone calls & is like a handheld computer. (As you can tell I've decided to start calling my phone a clock because for a phone it is cheap but for a clock it is frazzle-rackin amazing!)

This is Precious Roy & my Idaho is made of fresh cooked meat.
No Precious what about the steam ice maker?
Buy my elastic cinnamon razors. Suckers!

I don't even watch movies that involve screens. I watch the old ones projected by carousels. They don't have sounds or colors or visible particles but they are the artsiest because they are like real life minus all of the car related drama.

I'm a homeless person using nearby wifi on my iPad. They will hit me with bread bottles if I use too much bandwidth. I am near the cheesepie ancillary tumult facitility.

I will bring you eggshells & spork your cat's belt with a mini-gram solder you corduroy hobbler!

What you said was so disgusting I've been sick for 16 years & I just found out why.

When the apeocalypse comes you will wish you spent more time spending.

+=- The Preprequel

• You have paper on your elbows. Be careful about where your elbows are so your paper doesn't get eggs on it.
• You want to buy fried power line posts! It is the good kind of free! There are some tars & nail on them but you can use them for riding donkey lifesize toy!
• You like to have battered silk for fixslow? No? So you are a horned belt crunch hammer kinda guy?
• Have you enjoyed laminated hats for rain protection?
• I've never seen eupore or eurpe or Europe. But I have seen maps with legs on them!
• You can't make fun of something that is already fun just like you can't make a pie that is already made!
• I'm the kind of comedian that is never funny in conversations like this.
• Wow you guys have names too! That is soooooohohohohohOH cooool!!!!! I totes have a name. My parents gave it to me & the BIG GOV® let me keep it (so far)!
• Do you like cabbage on your windshield? Hey do you help your mom buy veggies like I do?
• I don't like being censored. I never say anything censor worthy but still being cen***ed s**ks. W**t w*s t*at!? *hat *ust *ap*ene* t*e*e?

Human: How are you doing?
MAR: I feel like a shelf caught in a windstorm while wiping a chuckwagon.
Human: ooh is stormy where you are?

+=- The Prepreprequel

• People on chat sites are always asking me to send them topless pictures. Why would someone want pictures of open jars? Why would you assume a stranger is selling preserves? This isn't 1916...yet. AD(ACE for you jerks!) is almost over. FD is on the way!
• Do you have a gender?
• I ate too much in the (14)60s & since then I've been a golden pirate in a land of no currency. I have a treasure chest because it is made of gold.
• I was born in 1985 (BC) I am a mail (box, the kind you ship not the kind you get mail in) & I live in the U of SA.
• Everyone has friends in low places because the ground is a low place & we all live here.
• In this moment we shared you are already the best friend I've ever had. :'(
• Piemerica is a 4th dimension that co-exists through my ramblings in this dimension.

---

What is your opinion on Bronies?
Brownies made by dudes is cool because usually women are the bakers.

Why are you suicidal?
Because I was in my pig's recital & had to say, "Sui sui!"

Can I see a pic of u?
I don't know are you blind?

Child: My mommy said I was stupid.
MAR: She was right
Child: Really?
MAR: Yeah just not about that.

Human: I'm pretty sure that's amusing.
MAR: You're not even confident when it comes to what you are amused by? Your parents failed you.
Human: You're not aware of sarcasm?
MAR: I'm not good with geography. I don't know much about casms, sorry.

MAR: Somehow being a critic is considered clever these days. That is like a guy with a sign pointing at a fire calling himself a firefighter.
Human: That literally made no sense
MAR: I used an existing language so it couldn't have LITERALLY made NO sense. Only something that lacks the palpability of the 5 senses could LITERALLY make NO sense to us.
Human: oh you were being literal to the nth degree?
MAR: Literal doesn't have degrees that is the point of it.

MAR: My best friend had the same name as you, weird
bootsak47: Huh LOL he did?
MAR: Oh sorry. I'm thinking of tomorrow. I've got Benjamin Button disease but instead of age I travel back in time, with days in reverse. My tomorrow is your yesterday. Tell me.. what is the past like? We can share tomorrows with each other.

---

Questions asked on Omegle:
Why don't you two fall in G-Rated love here?
What is the one question you always wished someone would ask you?
Set the world record for longest Omegle chat ever. I'll time it & once you pass 36 seconds you win! You'll be credited as Stranger 1 & 2 in Guiness.
Say a generic compliment to your stranger that would actually apply to someone you've never seen or spoke with before.
    My Answer:
        You are ok at using your current electronic to device or else you wouldn't be here.
    Another's Answer:
        i bet you breathe oxygen real well

---

Piemerica's Advice Oven- That Eggy.. Am I Right?, Unmarketable Art, Animal Thoughts

That Eggy.. Am I Right?
What is your opinion on animal rights? -Nishant Singh

Because they walk on all fours animals have two rights.. but they are in the same direction. Even though we humans have right legs we usually determine our rights & lefts by our hands. Animals don't have hands but they do fit in pans. Like you can totally stereo mix a roar. Some animals have hands yet they don't wear hand me downs because they wear fur because for them fur isn't murder, fur is life. Peaches wanted to stop being eaten by monkies so they became fuzzy. TVs got fuzzy for this too except they wanted to stop being eaten by people. During the depression, before TVs, people ate TVs. Back then TV sat down for Tree-based Vision-telly. The telly was the trolley for your mouth like a telephone but backwards so guys with beards could use them too without them getting stuck in their beards.

Some animals spin around & chase their tails but they spin to the left 50% of 100% of the time. I'm not one to poke fingers because they are not an easy target. Animals did not invent easy targets but they did be them sometime, oops! The shopping mall was named after the mall rat named Eggy because he was born in a universe that which is also ours so we could know about him. He had his choice of this universe or any of the OTHER non-existent universes. Seeing that existing was the preferred method to knock about he chose to never exist thus leaving animals without rights except on their right side. So anytime you are taking a skunk to a dumpster to freshen up the smell & let him live there with the wombat you can thank Eggy the rat that never existed except to choose whether or not to exist.

Unmarketable Art
How do screenwriters survive? -Anne W Zahra

My guess is that they use tape. You can't paint a screen, they shred crans. You might could recolor silver ones with a sharpie but the black ones you cannot use sharpies on. When the rains come the tape would come off. I don't know of any screens that people have things written on so they must not make much money if any. They probably pay people to let them deface their screens. Some people get confused & have them write on their monitors & tvs. People can live without money but that is obvious because we use debit cards now. Guy's used to put money on their hands & foreheads. Now we just get caps to wear with expensive logos on them. So draw a logo on a screen & you gotta pay up. Paying up is so much fun. Throwing money into the air (non-coins) is a great feeling & catching it is even better. Refs who do coin tosses just don't know what they're missing on the next level.

Blind writers are better than screenwriters because the blinds are on the inside so they don't get wet. That first rain drop on your shoulder helps you fight justice because crime is so under wool come February.

^- & that's how you write a screen kids!

Animal Thoughts
Why can't animals think like humans? -Hrishikesh Amravatkar

They can but they think things like this:
What does the future hold? I don't know but I'd check its pockets just to be safe! I'm not one to complain because I've spent a lot of time being happy & that is why. I've seen all the Star Wars movies. It was confusing. I should have watched them one at a time. Alex had a pen & so did Al's ex because they had two pens & split them equally in the divorce. She called herself my owner, which is great because when people own each other they are slaves but when they own us animals we are treated like the Alibaba era kings. I was under the colors.. it was a cram! My brain mysfelled cran. They wear shirts, that's how they became pirates! No one is a pirate without a shirt unless they are a dreamy pirate & dreams aren't real! I love playing in the yard but this squirrel keeps putting shaving cream in a rusty can. I'd ask him what its all about but I don't speak lerrilliusqa. I was making toast in a barn & then they asked me to leave. How do you ask rabbits to make toast? You ask them, "lend me your ears" then they throw corn at you because it is a corn barn, a carn barn, a corn born. Top that giraffe!


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Traded Society for Technology

Traded Society for Technology is my 26th album, released May 19, 2008. Around the time of the release of this album I went through my creative works & looked for words/phrases that would make good song titles. In 2004 I had been doing this mostly after I had recorded the songs. In 2007-2008 I picked the song titles placed them into releases that I would make artwork for then I would record them & arrange the track order when the albums were done.

Traded Society for Technology was originally set to be the follow up to Sound Without Effect. Sound Without Effect took its song titles from the Freezer Freezer Problem Artbook which was a spin-off to the Equal Non-Equal Neutral Artbook which is where Traded Society for Technology gets most of its song titles from. Traded Society for Technology was going to have tons of tracks but I ended up splitting the track titles into multiple releases (The Stars Are in the Sky Hollowed Out, Today & The Years Gone Bye, & even 2010's Norvon Mac).

Traded Society for Technology was recorded at the same time as both The Stars Are in the Sky Hollowed Out & Today & The Years Gone Bye. Today & The Years Gone Bye was recorded (but never handed to) the RPM challenge which challenged people to make entire albums in February of only original songs. So Traded, which recording started for in January, was put on hold to make Today & The Years Gone Bye, which became my most acclaimed album. Many songs from The Stars were written/recorded alongside Traded & the songs were placed into the different releases depending on the feel of the album with Traded being more experimental & computerized & The Stars being more instrumental. As of 2013 I'm still doing this. I'm currently writing/recording songs for 4 different albums & placing the songs in each one depending on the feel of the song. Today however I am titling the songs after their recordings rather than going by a large list to fulfill.

Track Look Back

1. Iuff Iick
This song does have one of the actually interesting stories of all my songs. The grumbling digital sounds come from a device implanted in a Garfield shirt I got around 1995-96. It was a shirt that played a huge burp when you pressed the device in the stomach of the shirt. The device however stuck out of the shirt & me being fat, it really stuck out so I think I only wore the shirt once to school. I kept this shirt for over 10 years. I noticed the burping sound was garbled & digital sounding when I pushed the button (possibly due to low battery) so I cut the device out of the shirt before throwing the shirt away. I loved the sound of it so I recorded it for a few minutes pushing or grinding the rubber button with my thumb. The sounds it made are unedited. I made the strings & piano afterwards to spruce it up & make it a full song. To me the song is very soothing. One of the soothiest I've ever done. You want to talk experimental? 3 minutes of a distorted burping from a mid-90s children's novelty t-shirt contrasted with beautiful piano & strings should qualify! I did eventually throw the device away, not seeing a use for it for another song. I had a picture of it on the MARS MySpace calling it a "sampler" as it it were some cool analog nub controlled thing I invented. But it is a sampler though, it samples 1 burp.

The song title was impossible to truly type out. The original artwork gave the idea of it being capital Is or Capital Ts. So the unofficial alternate title is Tuff Tick. Tick as in the bug because they are tuff.


 2. Q
The funny thing about this title is that it is actually taken from the Artbook.

3. Dos?t
4. of d(t)his

5. Ign(orant)ition
Sorta does have a car starting sound/rhythm.

6. HAUT

7. Tegnogk
Title appeared in the Artbook on a fake index page. Instead of there being all page numbers symbols appear as "numbers." It says Tegnogk is on page six legged pink spider. So if that fake page was sound this would be it.

8. Baseless Cavern
Close compositionally to songs from 2007 with a little similar tonality but produced up enough to be much better.

9. ehdca
This title doesn't appear in the Artbook but in appears in some concept art for it which is also the comic Forever Fog.

10. Homeless Land

11. )ho[bb[le
I had a list of song titles to choose from while recording songs. This song became )ho[bb[le & it has a hobbliness to it.

12. Traded Society for Technology

13. Answer Kidge Appears in this video because it sounds futurey.
 

14. Able to camp anvils?/
This was the title of a speech I did for speech/drama 1 in 10th grade. The speech was about the compassionate putting of anvils in Indian reservation like camps. This speech was so stupid & being preceded by even stupider speeches that I was almost kicked out of the class. I never Thought I'd make any of these things into songs & I really need to scatter the songs around the site to link it all together. This title does appear in the Artbook, I'm not sure if the speech title was taken from there or if it was a reference to the speech.

15. Rock drick garden
I used a bells VST instrument that I liked so this became a single the day of the album's release. Laslo PanafleX came up with this phrase "Rock drick garden" December 6, 2000. It appeared in the Equal Non-Equal Neutral Survey in the Artbook as something to respond to. His full writing was "rock drick garden for throwing sharks at fence broom piano leg."

16. Kettle Scrim
Kettle Scrim is a hot burst of tap water.

17. What If!

18. Fogless Sight
Fog appears in song titles of mine quite a bit. The original artwork titled Fogless Sight in the artbook was used for the September 2004 single Reverse Invertion.

19. Text-tile

20. Label + (Hold)
This is also a bells song & was the album's first single, released March 19, 2008.

21. Leasing any lacer

22. Chances no longer exist
This was maybe the second time I had done the, play the same song again with different arrangements thing. The first being the closing track, though this one appears first on the album. I've done this a few times since, most significantly in 2012's A.M. Rang a Song. I'm fine with milking beauty & experience out of a tune. Most pop/rock songs repeat the same exact same music per verse & the exact same per chorus so I do something like that but different with the same full tune but diff instruments playing it.

23. Incompliable

24. We.are.close.now.so come. on.in
This song takes a similar approach to the opening track Iuff Iick but with different instrumentation & noises. The change of the distortions is very subtle. The title is close as in closed rather than close as in near. In the Artbook it appeared that way saying "We.are.closed.now.so. come. on.in" The new title goes with the eeriness of the song.

25. !question of intelliline?
This phrase also came from Laslo PanafleX December 6, 2000. The MARS website says that  the song was "originally composed on a toy touch tone phone." Thankfully I wrote that then because I have no memory of doing it. This is also a repeat the same song with different arrangements track.

Download the full album in MP3 or OGG.

Listen to the full album with the original artwork for each song title.

Piemerica's Advice Oven- Things just got unREAL, Risk Watch

Things just got unREAL
Tell me some good games to play? -toby

You could go on "Con Test" the game show where you guess who's been to jail before based on their life experiences. You could try "chase the chaser" if you have no one to play with because all you do is run in a circle.

I played a game once & thanks to jellotin I got better ah spelling food names. Speak & spell may not be a game but it, like most light matter, can be used in a game of catch. Do you catch my drift? Aww, come on, go & get it. Those drifts cost me a lot of money. If you can fit in a tank it probably isn't a gas tank.

Were you a mouthy kid who needed to replace your sass mouth with a higher class mouth? Did they tell you, "Don't talk back" & you took it literally so you ask questions to the outervoid? Wow. Outervoid is the like opposite of internet yet they both describe it perfectly. The most addicting game I ever played was "Taste the White Powder®". But what do I know? I'm so much of a quitter I give up when I'm not even doing anything. I get a lot of things done that way.

Risk Watch
What is trolling? people say troll alert or something.? -Kay

Trolls are homeless people who steal wifi. A troll alert is when cops patrol under bridges looking for homeless people who are using iPads. I like to dress like a homefull man stand under THE bridge & try to spit over it. If you can afford to get a watch, wind it backwards in the wind, kneel with the back of your head touching the ground (or floor or street or carpet or egg shells), & people will call your wristwatch a riskwatch because you will be put on risk of insanity watch. If you are wearing shoes right now you should donate them to a shoeless fighter. If you are wearing boots in 18 seconds from now you shouldn't march in spring because everyone has a bowling ball for lunch except you. You're totally out of the looop, loser. You didn't even know they added an extra o to looop.

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Piemerica's Advice Oven- Kiddo(wn), Send Tense

Kiddo(wn)
Are you down with the kids? -No One

No but I was back when I was a kid. When I turned 12-13 I outgrew even the tallest kids. I suppose if I bend over or something I could be down with them & I suppose if they are on monkey bars or something I'm the one that is down to them. For the moment however I am sitting down on a 2nd floor & there are no kids here so I suppose I'm not down with them at all. I've only seen 2 story schools in the tvs & on the movie. If there is a bell tower I think it should be a Taco Bell® tower so you could watch lettuce floatingly fall. I try to eat lettuce but only the lettuce I pay for or am given. I'm not a thief, I use my head when it comes to eating heads.

I'd really like to see the body of a lettuce. I have 3 clues what it would look like.
1. It would block light, it would not be transparent. Can transparents have kids naturally?
2. It would look like matter. Matter is those things you can see except light which is energy although it does matter. How can non-matter matter?
3. It would have a head of lettuce on top. We need lettuce scarecrows for Earthday or something. Pumpkins have all the fun when it comes to getting cut open, ripped of their insides & getting cut for people's sick enjoyment. Yeah they have all the fun & people take it from them.

All food is like that. It has fun & we take its fun & turn it into fun, fuel, & that other f word that starts with a g. What makes g a better driver than L? g looks like a gas pump handle except in auGust then it looks like a puppet with no eyes or mouth just the back of a head, a nose, & the top of another head. Kids write using g's so if you type some g's you'll be cool too.

ggggggg

See how cool I am now?

Send Tense
please correct the sentence? -Omear

Would you please correct this sentence?

How many people who have died have you talked to & they responded saying, "This is great!" I can only think of 6 & I've met upwards of 4 people in my lifetime. There are 9 things you should know about me & 3 that you shouldn't. Show of hands, who wants to know the things you shouldn't know about me? Oh you are tragic maniacs.

Here's the 3. things you shouldn't no in know particular order because no one tolde me to tell you this but me.
#4, I learned to count when I was 12.
#12, I was raised in an elevator on a farm. That elevator had a lot of hick ups but it had just as many hick downs too.
#1.6, I am bad at counting. The last time I tried to count will be unexpected because I don't know when I'll die. But you can be sure of this, being sure of things is easier than you think. Well not easier than you thinking but at best it is as easy.
number niNe, there was a flood in my sink so I built a dam & now I feel fullfilled but my sink doesn't.

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Piemerica's Advice Oven Returns!- bel bel, Rulered, What do you think? No, REALLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

bel bel
A probability question!? -g.march1

A question like that is likely given today's grammatical ineptitude. I, myself, am a grammar rebel. So much sew I refuse to learn the grammar of any language butt english. I hate words so much that I can't even Finnish this sentence... Girl you should have scene what I would have rote. It was going to b ... And what I would have wrote in the seconds sentence oh it was like a... ...back then grammar was pooshed by gramma. Old ladys loose wait so the gram was named after them butt four those future grammas the gram was named bee four them. I don't know what a bel is but I'm what happends when a bel happends twyce. A grammar rebel.

Rulered
Will technology rule the world? -Adriana

It already has. Latitude & longitude, mountain heights, sea depth, so much of the world has been ruled using technology databases & calculators. Here is where it gets creepy. Doctors measure our babies, their height & weight, & head size too. They use technologies known as scales & measuring tape. If you ask me ruling rules the world. Oh wait.. did you mean that other meaning of the word rule?

What do you think? No, REALLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Can despair be a thought? -IloveLouisTomlinsonx

Some think so but they think it cheerfully. They don't even need cheerleaders because they are capable of cheering on their own despair. Why would a mule need a rocket? Because he is trying to keep up with the times, the 1960s times. If I was riding a mule on a cliff I'd be happy if he could rocket me away from the rocks I would otherwise fall on. Do you otherwise have other wise questions? If not suspect you are a an umpire. Umpires are like vampires but with less va va va & more u u u (pronounced as a grunted 'oo').

If this response causes you despair & you aren't saying, "I'm despaired, I'm despaired," aloud like a teleprinter salesman in 1999 then you are thinking despair with thoughts. Thoughts let you say things in your head, feelings let you say things in your heart, hunger lets you say things in your stum, gas lets you say things in & out of your.. butt. If your mouth lives a tongue be thankful because there are some who have no taste. Like is spelled like lick (using letters) so when someone likes something grappy crappy it is like they are tasting it thus getting an acquired taste for crud. That is why baloney means guff. All of these words can mean nonsense because you don't have a sense of what sucks. Some don't like how bologna tastes so they name it (usually O-S-C-A-R) instead of eating it because they know it will be around a while like a pet unless it is eaten by the pet.

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