A as in Alpha, B as
in Bravo… the phonetic alphabet is helpful for understanding what letters are
being verbally conveyed. To close out No.vember, I present such a system that I
have devised for numbers!
0 as in Oh no,
please no! Why!? #ElectionNight2016
1 as in One Night
Stand, that boring "magic trick" David Blaine did where he just stood
up all night.
2 as in Too Legit to Quit
3 as in 3 Men and a Baby
4 as in Forthright
5 as in 5 dollar
bill, y'know the one with Lincoln on it. The one made out of paper.
6 as in 666, because if you say it 3 times it's obvious you're saying six
7 as in 7 fingers
8 as in I just ate
an eight
9 as in No
10 as in 2
11 as in the number
that rhymes with seven that isn't .7
12 as in a
non-baker's dozen
13 as in T Minus 13
seconds
14 as in a teen that
is also a fort
15 as in
9+5-6÷8x42-26.4-.7+.1
16 as in "16!
She said she was 18, I swear!"
17 as in the front
half of the Titanic
18 as in
"Congratulations you're old enough to no longer need my help clarifying number
pronunciations!"
19 as in the age of
your mother's new boyfriend, no not that one, the other one, yeah Francisco, no
no, Francisco L., ok just forget it! I'm not getting into middle initials!
20 as in XX
21 as in the past
tense of "20 wins!"
22 as in twenty also
23 as in the reason
you quit your job at the daycare, twenty 3 year olds
24 as in 24 Seven,
the guy named Seven who wears #24 in that popular sports club
25 as in draw and
quarter
26 as in 2016
without the teen
27 as in 5 high
fives & 1 high two
28 asa ina 28a incha
suba sandwicha
29 as in "29 dollars!
I could get this for half that price online! Ah but then you have to wait for
the shipping. Ugh, alright, I'll take it, but I'm not happy. Look deep into my
scowl & remember this before you go to sleep at night!"
30 as in 4/8 an hour
31 as in when you
say, "Bear with me" to someone & they say, "Hey
Boo-Boo!" then the number of seconds it takes you to remember what
Boo-Boo's voice sounds like.
