In 17.626 years from now aliens will be saying that Star & Micey are one the best bands to come out of Earth.
If "Love in an Elevator" wasn't already taken Star & Micey would have every possible song title with the word love in it.
Melody is so smart all of her teeth are wisdom teeth.
I've been drinking books since the days when books were dry, which is every day up until 3 weeks from tomorrow-ishishish.
Honoring God in daily hygiene is not enough, that would only be honoring him by the skin of our teeth.
I suggest you call The Police or maybe just Sting..
What time of day does your mind see?
The idea that "you can't mix apples & oranges" is why you never see a math teacher working a juice stand. Or it's because he/she already has a job as a math teacher.
On Halloween Day
MAR: If kids come to Trick or Treat at my house.. BLAM!! ..candy right in their bags!
Nathaniel: This is the best thing I've read all day.
MAR: I bet you wouldn't say that if I posted it again tomorrow.
Nathaniel: No, probably not.
I never taught my dog to sit.. because he already knew how. Amazing right? He just sorta came out that way, so did all my other dogs. And get this.. he can roll over too! Yeah one day he just started rolling in the dirt. And he even shakes when he's wet. I don't know what the point of all this dog training is. Just wait around, they'll eventually do all of it. My dog sits.. has to be 50-60 times a day. It's like I always say (for this joke) you can't teach good sitting.
see self tiger jungle moutins woods haha I think
You've gotten better at terracing baloon farm scalpels.. because you couldn't have gotten any worse! Ooooh!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
1. Translate abbreviations for hatless dogs.
2. Give a rowbot to someone with a rowboat.
3. Shoot some drugs.. with a gun.
4. Invent colors that can only be seen during New Year's hugs.
5. Keep other people's New Year's resolutions so when they fail this year they will be encouraged by your success & succeed next year.
6. Instead of throwing a fit, throw a misfit in front of a tailor.
7. Fill the potholes on your block with beef stew.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
1. Give someone your 2014 calendar before it is too late!
2. Let women & children off of an elevator before yourself unless they are using cellphones.
3. Start slowly taking the tinsel off of neighborhood Christmas trees.
4. Put a note in your chimney asking Santa to "Please knock first."
5. Hide your Christmas gifts in pottery so people can know the joy Link feels when finding valuables in pots.
6. Fill someone's empty covered swimming pool with discarded wrapping paper so they can have a summer surprise.
7. Mail out after-Christmas cards.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
1. Search for the Loch Ness monster in Costa Rica. He's bound to vacation there some time.
2. Clone yourself repeatedly to completely rid all homeowners of cobwebs.
3. Create a capella versions of alarm clock sounds.
4. Help a crazed billionaire rebuild Rome in a day. C'mon, it's only a day's work.
5. Create cheers for the sun to help it get up in the morning. 'Rise sun rise, light the world for our eyes'
6. Help find a home for a stray homeless person.
7. Install a free soda machine at an orphanage so all the kids can have pops.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
- Try to knock over hungry people by street bowling with large fruits.
- As a dinner guest discreetly replace your host's flatware with actual sterling silverware.
- Offer people rides but instead of delivering them to their destination of choice take them on impromptu vacations.
- Make copies of your favorite fliers to share with the world at large.
- Gift a deathly ill person 365 apples.
- Show up to play competitive sports you are bad at to lighten the mood there.
- While watching a film adapted from a book recite the missing narration.